Wednesday, September 24, 2008

the ugly side of baby growing.

i love, love, love this little being growing like a weed inside of me. i wished, hoped, prayed & begged for him, and the day i found out he existed was one of the best & most memorable of my entire life. despite 11 weeks of nausea and an ever-growing list of physical ickyness, it's worth it. and i'll probably do it a couple more times. i don't ever want to seem ungrateful for this miracle-o-mine...but pregnancy is no picnic. i think my beef is more with the effects of progesterone (i would say that would make a great name for a super villain but i know every mom with hormone irregularities would want to punch me so i won't say that). that being said...

10(ish) selfish reasons reasons why i'm glad pregnancy doesn't last forever. in no particular order.

-boobs of epic proportions. my cute, perky c-cup beauties have swollen to such a ridiculous size that i have officially outgrown every single bra (push up, sport, ugly comfies, ALL) that i own. in fact, i sometimes look down and embarrassingly realize my titties are overspilling and looking all kinds of white-trashy. the other night husband took a look at them in my closest-to-fitting bra and without prompting said, "how would you like it if i bought you some new bras this week?". if he sees a problem, that's saying something!

-never-healing, relentless acne. ohh yes. i haven't had clear skin in about 5 months, and that goes for my entire body. it's gross, and so unflattering...but i'll say it. bacne. i have bacne. sob.

-the no soft cheese rule. do you know what i love consuming in mass quantities? bleu cheese. on pizza...crumbles on salads...chicken wings. we sort of have a sick love affair. i sometimes cheat on it with feta (shhhh), and occasionally gorgonzola (don't tell feta). and do you know what? the people who went to medical school say it can give my fetus listeriosis. siiigh. i haven't had a single crumble since may. but come january? my place, soft cheese party, be there.

-new york & company coupon tauntings. my favoritest of favorite stores sends me all kinds of dealy emails and coupons to cash in on lovely pieces of fashion. pre-baby i was going to the mall bi-weekly to stock up on everything they had to offer...and i'm not even sure i will fit in all my previous finds post-baby. not to mention, my clothing shopping desires are not being fufilled. maternity clothes just don't have the same thrill. i suppose it's a good transition to stay-at-home-mommyhood. gotta squash the shopping bug now.

-no glass of wine after a suck day at work. my job was such a lovely place to be, until pregnancy. it decided to suck just in time for my mood swings and exhaustion. and can i come home to a lovely glass of wine after being annoyed all day? nope. boo :(

-the sleeps. i don't think i even have to mention the nausea, because helloooo the nausea. it's probably the number one known fact of pregnancy. been there, done that, would love to forget about it. the exhaustion on the other hand? non-stop. 3-hour naps began at as little as 4 weeks, and 20 weeks later i'm still taking them. when i'm not working 12 hour days, that is. staying awake through those work days is nearly impossible.

-feeling like a total whale. and knowing it's only going to get a lot worse in the next few months.

-mood swing fiesta. i have this funny (and too long for my current attention span) story about a night when i decided 10pm was a perfect time to bake an apple pie. when my crust wasn't turning out as perfect as MIL's does without fail, i threw my arms in the air, along with a few handfuls of flour, and declared that i quit apple pie. and then there's the 4,736 times (roughly) i've burst into tears at sarah mclaughlin's SPCA commercial, or just....because i wanted to. no control over your own emotions, awesome.

-pregnancy brain. i can't concentrate on work, i mess up the simplest tasks, and i forget things constantly. like how to count to 10.


and reasons why it's amazing:

-there's an actual human being learning how to be human inside of me!
-his kicks are the coolest, sweetest things i have ever experienced.
-seeing him at sonograms is the most in amazing thing in the entire world.
-i never feel alone, because i know baby is everywhere with me.
-the men at work trip all over themselves to hold doors and carry things for me.
-i can put on a little weight and people don't judge me.
-i get to be a mommy in 4(ish)months! which is the best thing ever, to me.
-seeing husband get excited about having a son is so heartwarming.
-there's a little person made of half me and half husband!
-i have years of loving another wonderful person ahead of me.

and of course, those are the only things that matter anyway. so all of my wah-wah-ing is pointless and doesn't matter :)

2 comments:

Stacy said...

Oh man, I thought Jake was the only person who said "the sleeps". I was like that through both of my pregnancies, though. Me and my pillows? BFFs.

Unfortunately, the pregnancy brain doesn't go away. It just morphs into mommy brain.

Cassie said...

hmm. rethinking baking babycakes.