hey, i had a baby!

yeah, so i'm the world's worst blogspot blogger in history, so what. life got....well, a little busy! since i last wrote, my body ballooned to epic proportions. (see picture) my co-workers began calling me spaulding. ya know, like the sports ball manufacturer. they asked me constantly if i'd shoplifted a sporting goods store. ha-ha.

though i was enormous, my body escaped the dreaded stretch mark demon. until the last couple weeks. it was like my skin cooperated as long as it possibly could, and when the end was near it got a skin-version of senioritis and in "aw, the hell with it" fashion, made up for lost time. my belly & hips look.......well, i don't even want to think about it. nor the fact that the stretch marks on my hips got deeper & more plentiful AFTER my sasquatch of a baby was delivered. what gives, hip skin? and then there's my belly button, who decided it was no longer a part of a caucasion body but an african american body and promptly turned the darkest shades of brown and black i've ever seen. mix it's new coloring along with my over-used, elephant-like in texture skin, and i now have a belly burnt marshmallow instead of a button.

oh how late pregnancy loathed me.

the birth was an experience, that's for sure. i know i'm being lame by not detailing it at all here, but the truth is i've already done it elsewhere and i don't have the time (ya know, infant and all) to re-tell it. it was scary, and thrilling, and emotional - and well, let's just say i hope i don't have to do it more than 1 or 2 more times. if i didn't love the crap out of babies, i'd probably say...i'm all set. don't get me wrong - the thrill of meeting my little guy and seeing his pudgy little face for the first time is probably THE BEST moment of my life. but the anxiety, and the pain that settles in that first night.......gah. not enjoyable. birth = pretty gay. and i didn't even have to do the whole labor bit, so i can only imagine how much that blows.

so, my little man made his appearance on january 15, 2009 at 8:49am. he weighed 9lbs 50z (yes, he was huuuge), and was 20.5" long. he is, the best looking infant in history (maybe i'm a little biased). he looks a lot like his daddy. his mouth looks like his dad's, but i see my sister in it, too. his nose is allll daddy's, as well as his forehead. the shape of his eyes are mine, but the color isn't. he still has those, white baby, grey-blue eyes so the color is really yet to be determined. but, mine are about as dark brown as they come, and were since birth, so i know that's not what he'll have.

here he is, shortly after birth. my little lukas james!

and because i'm just way too lazy, fast forward four weeks and here's one of him from the other day. his eyes look weird, but he's slowly starting to for-real smile this week (as in, socially smile, rather than "i'm going to fart on you, and my mouth does something that sort of resembles a smile", smile) - and this picture is one of the first examples i have of this.

and my last visual aid, might cause you to erupt from the cuteness so prepare yourselves. this is, the loves of my life from yesterday morning. they were all snuggled up in bed together, looking ridiculously alike and adorable.



so far, mommyhood is fantastic. i love my lukey to absolute pieces. breastfeeding is...well, it's going, but i can't say i love it. i do love giving my baby the best nutrition i possibly can. i love seeing his bright anxious eyes and little nose peeking over my boob as he fills his belly. i do love the anti-in-law feature it provides. a simple, "okay, he needs to eat now!" is the simple sanity-saving phrase needed to get my baby back in my arms and out of theirs. they can't argue that, and i don't have to share feeding time. but, that's also a problem. while i can give husband the luxury of sleeping through his night-time wakings, he cannot do the same for me. i have the boobs, thus i have to get up every time. but mostly, it's the nipple soreness from his non-stop eating, and the stress of my supply dropping off once in a while. it's frustrating, and takes a lot more will power to keep at than i imagined it would take.

but, overall, i'm loving being his mommy. i think my banner needs an update.

2/3rds there.

i was just thinking...how nice it is, that i can get up in the morning and cruise through the internet, perfectly content with a few hunger pangs...and not fear TEHBARF. for a while there, i thought i'd never be able to enjoy a quiet morning of educating myself on everything pointless with a hot cup of whatever-i-chose-that-morning. i'd be okay for a second, and then every passing moment would bring me closer to puke-land. until eventually, i'd be rocking back and forth in front of the toilet wishing it would just happen already so i could get on with my day. it made me sad, because i love mornings. i love being up before the sunrise, experiencing the chill in the air, and watching the world wake up. i love seeing the sun slowly filter itself over everything and into my window. but pregnancy was having none of that. for the first 17 weeks*, anyway. i was no longer a morning person.

*to be completely accurate, nausea didn't start until i was 6 weeks, and ended at 17 weeks...so it was really about 11 weeks of hell.

the worst part, was knowing if i didn't eat something bland and dry i would surely start on my journey towards puking. but eating anything, let alone something that tasted like cardboard and stuck to my already dry mouth, was just....not appealing. eventually i learned which cereals were easiest to get down, and how fast i needed to take my anti-nausea meds, and i'd function. but even so, i was never "quite right". i don't know why i even expected to feel "normal" - my body was, after all, gearing up to grow a human. not an easy feat.

but then the 2nd trimester hit, and it was a whole other ball game! this is when i learned to enjoy pregnancy. don't get me wrong. it still....sucks, in general - just, the ever-growing list of things that don't work the way they used to, and they're all in the less favorable sense. but, i could spend my mornings normally - without traveling with a baggie of dry cereal, without looking pale & green (not saying i look(ed) good, but certainly better than near-death), and without plotting where the nearest toilet was. i started to feel my baby move, and i saw his face on a sonogram. i found out that he was a boy. my belly started looking cute, and comments started rolling in. and the realization that, holy crap, there really is something in there, MY baby, and he's ALIVE! INSIDE ME!! My excitement finally came bursting through (and i say it like that, because i felt so utterly miserable during trimester #1 that it was hard to show anything other than, "don't get too close i could barf on you").

and so....here we are. 3 days left of this glorious trimester, about to embark on the scary 3rd. the one where aches & pains hit their peak, doctors visits increase, and the pressure to prepare kicks in. i am a little scared for this phase - excited, but a little scared. i'm hoping, that i still have a little while of sleeping well - because until now (knock on wood) that hasn't been a problem for me. and the discomfort has been slowly setting in for the past couple weeks, so i think i've been slowly preparing for that. aaand my nursery hasn't even been started, but i can't feel badly about that since it's kind of out of my control. but ya know, this means i'm getting closer and closer to meeting my little man...and after this point, his chances of thriving should he be born early for whatever reason, just continue to increase. so that, is reassuring.

all of this is worth it. every stage, every moment. every time i feel him kick and flip i remember why i'm having to go through all of these less than favorable things. because the reward, is worth so much more.

confessions of a bitter pregnant lady.

i am seriously about to explode if people don't stop irritating me. yes, i know, the hormones and such have run me a little ragged...and the inability to breathe normally has left my brain a little deprived & frustrated. but, how much can a girl take?! if i had zero respect for people, and a little more confidence, i would love to say these things flat out....


dear mr. XXXXXL shirt open-door-door-knocker,

how do i put this nicely? you're annoying. you talk way too quiet and way too slow, and i seriously get bored waiting around for you to get to your point. SPIT IT OUT! the truth is, i could handle your slow explanations if you didn't smell like you soaked in rancid 30 year old cologne. STOP BATHING IN IT! the smell lingers for 10 minutes after you walk out, and with my super-sonic pregnancy nose, i gag until it clears out. and while you're quitting bad habits, how about walking in my office instead of knocking on my OPEN door? ps, you could probably fit in Medium clothes, what's with the shirts 4 sizes too big?

sincerely,
bitter pregnant lady

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dear grossest hands in the entire world,

i don't know if anyone has ever told you this before, but you have the most disgusting hands on the planet. for being a slim guy, your fingers are thicker than hot dogs, and your skin feels like extra coarse sandpaper. ever hear of lotion? i wouldn't give a crap what your hands felt like if you didn't PUT THEM ON ME ALL THE TIME! it would be sweet if you just, stopped touching me. i'm getting sick of dodging corners when i see you coming just so you can't reach me. and whoever told you it was kosher to put your sandpaper hands in a random girl's head of hair? well here's some news. IT'S NOT! it's also extremely annoying when you try to copy my tone of voice, or repeat things i say often. i don't care if you think you're cute, it's freaking annoying. and when i get quiet & standoffish - that means KNOCK IT OFF! how about just, leaving me alone altogether?

sincerely,
BPL

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dear weird skiddish guy,

you, too, take an eternity to get to the point. i freaking hate when you walk in my office - i almost want to get up and leave you standing in here alone, just so i can avoid your stupid conversations. the part that gets me, is you're almost always confused about your point, and someone else has to fix it. if you're gonna suck so badly, could you just let someone else come to me please? it would save me a lot of frustration and irritation. and you know, saying things like "so, you're busy? well, i'll only be a minute..." and then breaking into what YOU need, regardless of my current work situation - is NOT cool. pointing out that i'm busy doesn't mean it's okay to make me busier, just because you recognized i was already slammed. especially when your issue is never correct to begin with. ps, saying things like "wow you just keep growing!" is a really, really, really....stupid thing to say to a bitter pregnant lady.

sincerely,
you know who

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dear douche bag,

i have been annoyed by you for the last year and a half, and you only continue to make it worse. you smell like a bar. your chester the molester laugh makes me sick. and you need to stop picking your nose and ears while using other people's computers. it's freaking disgusting. i'm sick of soaking everything i own in antibacterial spray after you get near it. also, popping your dentures in and out of place is really, really sick. no one wants to hear that. you also need to shave your ears, because not only are they the size of my hands, and more red than a tomato, they look like they are covered in pubes. and since we very unfortunately have to see you so often, it'd be nice not to see such horrible sights. but most of all, you starting to do your job would just be FANTASTIC. i know you've enjoyed milking a nice paycheck from the owners while doing nothing but chain smoking and spouting off computer jargon to try and confuse people while making yourself sound like you know what you're saying. but it's time to do your damn job.

sincerely,
i hate your guts. hardcore.

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dear stupidest guy to ever exist,

how do you get to be your age, and not know how to make a copy of something? it's not even like you're over the hill and beyond the technology generation (though even my grandma could make a simple copy!). you're probably only 5 - 10 years older than me. and following simple instructions like, put paper in tray, hit Go - shouldn't be so hard to follow that i have to repeat them 3 times. and even worse, that you still can't get it after 3 times and i have to physically walk my big pregnant ass to the machine and do it for you. yes, the paper DOES need to get sucked into the machine. simply placing it on top does not tell it what you need a copy of. and before bringing me what you think is your copy, look at it. is it exactly like the thing you copied? no? then guess what. it's not your copy. HELLO!

sincerely,
get a clue

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dear every truck driver & dispatcher in the greater charlotte-piedmont region,

you people......are the most annoying, frustrating, aggravating people to deal with. DON'T just show up without an appointment, DON'T expect an appointment without giving me a PO number, and DON'T deliver crap on fridays since i've told you 147, 680 times WE ARE CLOSED ON FRIDAYS! if you don't follow the rules, you'll be pushed to the end of the line - pretty damn simple.

sincerely,
about to loose her cool receiving lady

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dear everyone who feels the need to make comments about my pregnancy,

yes, i am pregnant. yes, that means my stomach is growing. you may say things like "oh you look cute", or "congratulations", or "how far along are you?", or "when are you due?", or "how are you feeling?". all perfectly acceptable and reasonable. however, saying anything in regards to my size - totally uncool. some examples of phrases you may want to avoid:

"wow you look like you swallowed a watermelon this weekend!"
"geez you're starting to look like the broad side of a barn"
"damn, you're getting big girl!"
" you're only 6 months?! by the time you make it to 9 months you're gonna need bed rest!"

and yes, all of these things have been said to me - along with many more. i also get physical mocking, where people will pretend to waddle in front of me (and for the record, i have not started to waddle). oh, and...everyone at work now calls me "big mama" (insert not amused face here). so make note of these examples, remember common courtesy, and take a social etiquette course if you still can't find it in you to keep the comments to yourself.

sincerely,
REALLY bitter pregnant lady.

wanna see my bowling ball?

i just realized i never introduced you to my goop, at least via my belly. so, today is your lucky day. as you can see....the child is large. im only 25 weeks...and look at that belly! gah. i am convinced he will come out 6 foot 11. my sister kept saying that while she was shopping for him, she skipped over newborn sizes because she's positive he'll be born way too big for them. funny, how she thought so already seeing as i haven't seen my sister since july & she hasn't seen the belly. oh, right....did i ever mention...i don't live in my hometown? yeah. long story short (i'll make it longer some other day...) i moved to charlotte, nc with husband over 4 years ago and happily ever after. we're both from buffalo, ny - aaand, we will be again in a few years.

here's the fully-clothed belly. everyone tells me it looks like i'm literally carrying a bowling ball under my shirt. sweet. thanks guys.

last night hubs and i rocked dinner. he finished up work right when i got home, and came downstairs to get the grill fired up. it was a sick 80-some degrees (we're so ready for full-blown fall it's not even funny), so we figured we'd do the grill thing. when he opened the door to the deck, however - a hilarious 20 minute battle with the spider from hell ensued. i love husband, and despite what i'm going to say he is plenty macho. he is terrified of spiders. as am i - to the point where i can't even get close enough to kill them, so in his defense...he at least has the courage to murder the bastards. this thing was unnaturally enormous, and exceptionally disgusting. he armed himself with a can of raid and a broom....and switched between spraying at it, swatting it, and squirting it with water. by the time he finished attacking this thing (to the point he felt safe being anywhere on the deck in order to grill), i had already made the applesauce for the next night's (now tonight's) dinner. i don't know why i've never made my own applesauce before. it was seriously easy, and seriously DELISH!

my bff, the queen of homemade baby food told me how to make it. her daughter loves it (and since husband's taste buds resemble those of a 5 year old) i knew he'd love it too. i wanted to make it last night so it had plenty of time to chill for tonight's dinner. and, to free up some time considering i've never made homemade mac & cheese before and im going to venture into that world tonight.

pregnancy suck of the day: last night, i peed right before bed (hot right). and as much as i searched my brain, i couldn't recall drinking much in the evening. yet, around 3am i had to pee SO BAD my entire body hurt (i have this weird pregnancy thing, that instead of getting the urge to pee like normal, i just get pain. lovelyyy). my whole belly was cramped, yet i was fighting with myself since my alarm was due to go off in not long anyway. i finally got up and went, the pain decreased - but never went away completely. it STILL hurts! and i'm afraid it might have shifted my tumor (yeah, another story for another day...) because it hurts the most right where the tumor is. im walking like an old lady with a brand new hip replacement.

ps - bloom is doing triples this weekend! what the heck, grocery stores! are you trying to kill me!! i'm going to plan on skipping that one...unless, i don't make out as well as i plan to at lowe's this week. they'll be my weekend back up plan.

damn it, nipples!!!

okay, okay...i'm not a grey's genius. boo. my story would have been a lot more interesting than what actually happened. that was the lamest thing ever. me...girl who practically hyper-ventilated over september 25th's arrival for a good month, was wishing it would hurry up and end so i could go to sleep. my grey's shouldn't make me have such terrible feelings!

BUT, the office was awesome, and (spoiler alert - highlight the following, just in case some people haven't seen it yet!) though it took place between pumps at a gas station, jim & pam's proposal was so sweeeet. yay jim & pam! i love them.

today i have been scrapbooking queen 2008. and by that, i mean not at all...since i only got 2 pages done. and technically, it was 1 layout...just a 2-pager, so that makes me suck even more. but i organized the new things i ordered recently & set up the plans for more of my scrapbooking projects so i did accomplish something. the only suck part is, i have no good place to scrapbook. so at the moment, all of my supplies are on the floor and i sit among them and do my thing. not only does it hurt my back, but i also have to listen to matt's lamefest conference calls. the whole point is to be in the room and spend time with him while he has to work, but my GOSH. i want to pop ear plugs in so i don't have to hear any more computer gibberish.

odin is being a complete weiner today. you know my beautiful gerbera plant i raved about yesterday? he's tried eating it, twice now. just today he bit the bloom off the stem! i don't know where i can put it so he won't get into it.

i'm officially obsessed with picnik. i can't stop. i need to join picnik lovers annon. i've even started using other people's pictures. for example, meet my sister and her boyfriend:

gorgeous couple, aren't they? oh oh....wrong picture.

is it totally obvious i was trying to cover up the date stamp? lol.

i should get back to my scrapbooking. or perhaps, picniking. i would do something more productive...like, put together a nursery for my baby but I CAN'T because service "masters" (more like suckers) called in sick! they called in sick, to working on our house!! can you believe that crap? ooooh this mold stuff is getting old. that's a long-ish story for another day. for now...

pregnancy suck of the day: itchy nipples. and not just itchy, painfully itchy. it feels like there are tiny needles being stuck into my nipples...and scratching/pinching (lol) them does not make it stop. i've even tried lotioning them thinking they may be dry. no dice. i'm about to rip them off!