2/3rds there.

i was just thinking...how nice it is, that i can get up in the morning and cruise through the internet, perfectly content with a few hunger pangs...and not fear TEHBARF. for a while there, i thought i'd never be able to enjoy a quiet morning of educating myself on everything pointless with a hot cup of whatever-i-chose-that-morning. i'd be okay for a second, and then every passing moment would bring me closer to puke-land. until eventually, i'd be rocking back and forth in front of the toilet wishing it would just happen already so i could get on with my day. it made me sad, because i love mornings. i love being up before the sunrise, experiencing the chill in the air, and watching the world wake up. i love seeing the sun slowly filter itself over everything and into my window. but pregnancy was having none of that. for the first 17 weeks*, anyway. i was no longer a morning person.

*to be completely accurate, nausea didn't start until i was 6 weeks, and ended at 17 weeks...so it was really about 11 weeks of hell.

the worst part, was knowing if i didn't eat something bland and dry i would surely start on my journey towards puking. but eating anything, let alone something that tasted like cardboard and stuck to my already dry mouth, was just....not appealing. eventually i learned which cereals were easiest to get down, and how fast i needed to take my anti-nausea meds, and i'd function. but even so, i was never "quite right". i don't know why i even expected to feel "normal" - my body was, after all, gearing up to grow a human. not an easy feat.

but then the 2nd trimester hit, and it was a whole other ball game! this is when i learned to enjoy pregnancy. don't get me wrong. it still....sucks, in general - just, the ever-growing list of things that don't work the way they used to, and they're all in the less favorable sense. but, i could spend my mornings normally - without traveling with a baggie of dry cereal, without looking pale & green (not saying i look(ed) good, but certainly better than near-death), and without plotting where the nearest toilet was. i started to feel my baby move, and i saw his face on a sonogram. i found out that he was a boy. my belly started looking cute, and comments started rolling in. and the realization that, holy crap, there really is something in there, MY baby, and he's ALIVE! INSIDE ME!! My excitement finally came bursting through (and i say it like that, because i felt so utterly miserable during trimester #1 that it was hard to show anything other than, "don't get too close i could barf on you").

and so....here we are. 3 days left of this glorious trimester, about to embark on the scary 3rd. the one where aches & pains hit their peak, doctors visits increase, and the pressure to prepare kicks in. i am a little scared for this phase - excited, but a little scared. i'm hoping, that i still have a little while of sleeping well - because until now (knock on wood) that hasn't been a problem for me. and the discomfort has been slowly setting in for the past couple weeks, so i think i've been slowly preparing for that. aaand my nursery hasn't even been started, but i can't feel badly about that since it's kind of out of my control. but ya know, this means i'm getting closer and closer to meeting my little man...and after this point, his chances of thriving should he be born early for whatever reason, just continue to increase. so that, is reassuring.

all of this is worth it. every stage, every moment. every time i feel him kick and flip i remember why i'm having to go through all of these less than favorable things. because the reward, is worth so much more.