me + iron = fail.

husband's antics, september 30th edition:

me: our kid will be polish, and italian....and hairy.
husband: do you think he'll have white hair like his big brother[odin]? covers odin's ears do you think we should tell odin he's adopted?

i love him :)

so. i'm sitting here, feeling like a failure....and i don't know why. it's silly, really. but i do. i had a doctor's appointment today and everything is good. baby is measuring well. things look good with me. except, they tested my iron (via finger stabber from hell)...and, i failed.

usually pregnant women with iron deficiencies show symptoms. like, becoming faint often. or excessive exhaustion (which, yes, i'm always tired - but no more than normal for this pregnancy so far. in fact, i've been more awake the last 4 weeks than the 20 before it). there are even known cravings for iron deficiencies like ice, and red meat. and not only do i not have those - i actually want nothing to do with red meat. it's like some weird switch that was flipped at the start of my pregnancy...i can't stand the thought of burgers or beef in most forms. and then...my vitamins say "with iron" right on the front....as if it's a specifically iron-filled version. and i take those every day. so really, i thought i was all set in the iron department.

i didn't fail badly, or anything. i don't know what their unit of measure is...but they want you to be at a 12. i was at a 10.6 - so really, it's not that far off. and perhaps it was simply my diet of the last 24 hours or so that wasn't full of iron. but i still can't help but feel like a failure. is my baby not getting what he needs? should i have been sucking it up and choking back some beef?

they told me they will have to test me again in the future, not sure if that means at the next appointment or what. really not looking forward to it since that finger stabber is totally not cool. i swear she poked my bone because the entire bone in my finger ached for a good 20 minutes post-stabbing. they said if i dip below 10 they will put me on an iron supplement. but, they gave me a list of iron food sources to try and bring it up above 12.

and ya know what? this list freaking blows.

according to my doctors, these are the foods which are excellent sources of iron:
calf liver, beef liver, pork liver, raisins, english peas, lima beans, mustard greens, spinach, and prune juice.

guess which ones from that list i would eat? hmmm. zerooo.

okay, i'm exaggerating. maybe maybe spinach, only in an omlet or a gourmet-style pizza. and i have no idea what english peas are, but i like normal peas...so if that's them, whatev. but liver?! seriously?? and i cannot STAND raisins, or lima beans, and i don't even knooow what mustard greens are. ugh.

there's also a list of good sources (of which i will eat berries, shredded wheat, broccoli, and pork) and a list of fair sources - which, i will eat almost all of. it's mostly fruits and veggies, which i love and have been obsessed with this entire pregnancy anyway. but they aren't really going to boost me up there since i'm already eating them. boo.

i'm also feeling kind of gross after seeing how much weight i've gained. i still have a shot at staying within the healthy 25-35 pound total weight gain....i'm pretty confident i can. but it's going to be hard. i have to eat better. not that i've been eating bad, because i do have my weak compulsive moments maybe once a month (like...sitting down with a bag of smart food and not getting up until it's empty....), but for the most part i eat well. i have a bagel with peanut butter, banana & orange juice for breakfast. i have decent lunches - usually a salad, or a sandwich - nothing ever heavy. i can't remember the last time i got a burger & fries for lunch. and at dinner i always make something decent. we have our late nights where we'll throw a frozen pizza in the oven, but even that is fairly rare. with husband being home when i get here, i no longer have to wait until late to make dinner.

so i know i need to eat lots of iron, and things that aren't going to immediately travel to my ass, yet all i can think about is how delicious it would be to make a container of pillsbury biscuits and eat them all with butter and strawberry preserves.

my smile for the day:
husband made me a snack after work (a spring mix salad with balsamic vinaigrette - see! my cravings are always along these lines), and i was watching GH. he could see it from the kitchen, and whether he likes it or not....he knows everyone on the show, and the current story lines. he asked me who got shot, and i told him. he asked me if she was dead, but i thought he asked something else so i said yes (she's not dead). and he responded with, "WHAT! she's DEAD? seriously?". i wish there would have been another woman in the room so i could send them a "how cute it is that he will deny it up and down that he doesn't know anything about GH and then reacted like that" glare. you know men. had i shared that moment with him he would have begun operation pretend to hate GH, and i can't have any of that. :)