husband's antics, september 30th edition:
me: our kid will be polish, and italian....and hairy.
husband: do you think he'll have white hair like his big brother[odin]? covers odin's ears do you think we should tell odin he's adopted?
i love him :)
so. i'm sitting here, feeling like a failure....and i don't know why. it's silly, really. but i do. i had a doctor's appointment today and everything is good. baby is measuring well. things look good with me. except, they tested my iron (via finger stabber from hell)...and, i failed.
usually pregnant women with iron deficiencies show symptoms. like, becoming faint often. or excessive exhaustion (which, yes, i'm always tired - but no more than normal for this pregnancy so far. in fact, i've been more awake the last 4 weeks than the 20 before it). there are even known cravings for iron deficiencies like ice, and red meat. and not only do i not have those - i actually want nothing to do with red meat. it's like some weird switch that was flipped at the start of my pregnancy...i can't stand the thought of burgers or beef in most forms. and then...my vitamins say "with iron" right on the front....as if it's a specifically iron-filled version. and i take those every day. so really, i thought i was all set in the iron department.
i didn't fail badly, or anything. i don't know what their unit of measure is...but they want you to be at a 12. i was at a 10.6 - so really, it's not that far off. and perhaps it was simply my diet of the last 24 hours or so that wasn't full of iron. but i still can't help but feel like a failure. is my baby not getting what he needs? should i have been sucking it up and choking back some beef?
they told me they will have to test me again in the future, not sure if that means at the next appointment or what. really not looking forward to it since that finger stabber is totally not cool. i swear she poked my bone because the entire bone in my finger ached for a good 20 minutes post-stabbing. they said if i dip below 10 they will put me on an iron supplement. but, they gave me a list of iron food sources to try and bring it up above 12.
and ya know what? this list freaking blows.
according to my doctors, these are the foods which are excellent sources of iron:
calf liver, beef liver, pork liver, raisins, english peas, lima beans, mustard greens, spinach, and prune juice.
guess which ones from that list i would eat? hmmm. zerooo.
okay, i'm exaggerating. maybe maybe spinach, only in an omlet or a gourmet-style pizza. and i have no idea what english peas are, but i like normal peas...so if that's them, whatev. but liver?! seriously?? and i cannot STAND raisins, or lima beans, and i don't even knooow what mustard greens are. ugh.
there's also a list of good sources (of which i will eat berries, shredded wheat, broccoli, and pork) and a list of fair sources - which, i will eat almost all of. it's mostly fruits and veggies, which i love and have been obsessed with this entire pregnancy anyway. but they aren't really going to boost me up there since i'm already eating them. boo.
i'm also feeling kind of gross after seeing how much weight i've gained. i still have a shot at staying within the healthy 25-35 pound total weight gain....i'm pretty confident i can. but it's going to be hard. i have to eat better. not that i've been eating bad, because i do have my weak compulsive moments maybe once a month (like...sitting down with a bag of smart food and not getting up until it's empty....), but for the most part i eat well. i have a bagel with peanut butter, banana & orange juice for breakfast. i have decent lunches - usually a salad, or a sandwich - nothing ever heavy. i can't remember the last time i got a burger & fries for lunch. and at dinner i always make something decent. we have our late nights where we'll throw a frozen pizza in the oven, but even that is fairly rare. with husband being home when i get here, i no longer have to wait until late to make dinner.
so i know i need to eat lots of iron, and things that aren't going to immediately travel to my ass, yet all i can think about is how delicious it would be to make a container of pillsbury biscuits and eat them all with butter and strawberry preserves.
my smile for the day:
husband made me a snack after work (a spring mix salad with balsamic vinaigrette - see! my cravings are always along these lines), and i was watching GH. he could see it from the kitchen, and whether he likes it or not....he knows everyone on the show, and the current story lines. he asked me who got shot, and i told him. he asked me if she was dead, but i thought he asked something else so i said yes (she's not dead). and he responded with, "WHAT! she's DEAD? seriously?". i wish there would have been another woman in the room so i could send them a "how cute it is that he will deny it up and down that he doesn't know anything about GH and then reacted like that" glare. you know men. had i shared that moment with him he would have begun operation pretend to hate GH, and i can't have any of that. :)
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
mommyhood brainstorming, take 1.
i love that i have a son. not...in a "i'm glad he's not a daughter" way. in really cool, amazing, "holy crap i have a child" way.
it's very easy to get caught up in the chaos of pregnancy. i mean, really. in a very short span of time your body goes from yours, operating in generally the same way it always has, predictable - and then it becomes an incubator of sorts...and just sorta-kinda lets you use it from time to time. any given number of symptoms are handed over - some worse than others, intensities flipping around, new ones cropping up. you learn what it feels like to never have good skin, and always have limp hair, and always have pain in your back, and always get heartburn from your ex-favorite foods, and always be spilling out of your bra.....(i'll stop there).
and of course there's the hormones. and the inability to deal with stress. and that whole huge thing about OMGIHAVEABABY, and i need to put a nursery together, and i need money for these things. it's a fast-paced, clock is ticking, high-strung experience. one that i couldn't have even imagined/planned for/prepared for if i tried. of course, i think my situation was made extra sucky by the mold issue that refuses to go away, and all of the other lovely costly things that crept up at the same time. so yes, it is very easy to get sucked into the tornado of, wow everything suddenly blows. it's hard to outwardly show the excitement you feel for the baby, when your mind is pulled in 20 different directions. and/or, you feel like ass.
however. i think, at least in my work place, i'm a rare bird. that sort of goes without saying because out of the 5 women in the entire company, only 1 other has been pregnant & given birth during their time here. my experience has only her's to compare with. but also, her ideas about pregnancy, babies, motherhood, parenting...the works, are all so very different. (not to start a debate or to sound all yay-yay to one side about anything, but...) she very actively promotes not breastfeeding. i've heard her preach this to every pregnant woman she comes across, including me. "it's so much easier to let your husband make the formula for you", "your boobs don't get as mangled", "you don't have to worry about a kid hanging all over you all the time". interesting. then she goes on about how the day her child came home it went straight to the crib and wasn't allowed to sleep anywhere else. she needed a full night's sleep, after all! i don't....even want to get into some of the other things, because they deal with punishment, and i really just have to zip my lips and turn my head when she goes on and on about it & i couldn't disagree more (and, i don't want to go there, to each their own really). but do you see the common denominator in those examples? selfishness. not one of those things were chosen for the better of her child, but they made that whole pesky mommy thing a little easier for her.
i'm not saying you better breastfeed your kid, and co-sleep, or park a bassinet next to your bed, or anything, really. it's just hearing her reasoning....it's annoying. she didn't make her choices for her child, she made them for her. and why? well, i have my theories. because the truth is - i think she's a good mom, and i think she did really want her baby. but she has been employed here longer than i could drive a car. heck, long before my first day of high school (which was in 98). she has seen this company grow quite a bit in that time, and she cherishes it. i get that, that's great. but i had a conversation with her husband, even...who said he hates how attached she is to this place. i believe his words were, "if the place were on fire, she'd still run into the building". she made her choices based on the fact that she was coming back to work (which, by the way, she came back 3 weeks after giving birth! because, she couldn't stay away). now...whether she made them because this place is more important to her than parenthood, or because she was upset about it and preparing herself for the heartache of leaving her child with a day care, i don't know. though, really, why not stay out all 8 weeks if that's the case?
i'm really not trying to crucify her or anything. her situation doesn't bother me the way it may seem. i think, with my due date fast approaching and my baby kicking with more distinct movements, i'm just thinking about my impending motherhood. the way things will be with me and my baby, and how i feel about the situation in comparison. i could never do what she's doing. i get that some people need the money and so working & day care is their only option. but i just couldn't hand my child over to a bunch of strangers 40+ hours a week (because she is ALWAYS here, even on days off, even when she's not asked to be). i don't have even have my child yet, but i'm constantly wishing i could be at home instead so i can pull up my shirt and watch my belly move around with the movement of his limbs. i wish i could just lay there and talk to him and poke at him while he squirms. we do this all the time, and i am thankful for the time i have - but i would just love to do it all day long. bond with my baby, prepare for his arrival....soak up the magnitude of the miracle he is. and that's the thing about working through pregnancy (which, i realize just about everyone does). not only do you have to suffer through the suck...like 11 weeks of nausea, and never ending exhaustion while trying to do your work correctly. but you don't get the time to soak up every last drop of growing your baby. i wish life was a little easier to juggle in that way. i don't want to quit my job and do nothing for the sake of being a bum. i want to kick back and soak up the very few miracles we are given in our lifetimes. and that's where i think my co-worker and i differ. this job is not simply an income for her - it IS her life. whereas mine, is currently growing in my uterus and i'm just waiting this job out until he makes his appearance.
even with all that being said, i still have insecurities. everyone in my life has done so much more with their lives (at least, hmm, 75% of them anyway) in terms of education and careers. i have done nothing. and though my heart is totally okay with this, sometimes my mind is not. i know exactly why things turned out this way. because i wanted them to. because all i wanted was babies - my babies. i couldn't settle on a profession that would give me the freedom i wanted in order to give my all to being a mom. so i didn't do anything. not even as a filler until i reached mommyhood. it just felt like a waste of time.
i think, that idea really just agitates me for now....and possibly will for the next 3 months, but will disappear in an instant. because i know, my time is coming. my time to shine is just around the corner, and my purpose for this life is about to unfold. but working 40 hours, doing things that don't make a difference, surrounded by people who barely share a shred of the same ideals as i have - is hard to do. it makes me wish that i had done something in the past so i could at least fill these next 3 months in limbo with something i care about.
for now, i take every moment i can to watch my belly poke out & jiggle with my son's movements. i talk to him every chance i get. i set my hand on my belly and laugh when he kicks it. i daydream about holding him in my arms, and seeing his smile, and hearing his laugh. and really...i just couldn't be happier about having a son.
it's very easy to get caught up in the chaos of pregnancy. i mean, really. in a very short span of time your body goes from yours, operating in generally the same way it always has, predictable - and then it becomes an incubator of sorts...and just sorta-kinda lets you use it from time to time. any given number of symptoms are handed over - some worse than others, intensities flipping around, new ones cropping up. you learn what it feels like to never have good skin, and always have limp hair, and always have pain in your back, and always get heartburn from your ex-favorite foods, and always be spilling out of your bra.....(i'll stop there).
and of course there's the hormones. and the inability to deal with stress. and that whole huge thing about OMGIHAVEABABY, and i need to put a nursery together, and i need money for these things. it's a fast-paced, clock is ticking, high-strung experience. one that i couldn't have even imagined/planned for/prepared for if i tried. of course, i think my situation was made extra sucky by the mold issue that refuses to go away, and all of the other lovely costly things that crept up at the same time. so yes, it is very easy to get sucked into the tornado of, wow everything suddenly blows. it's hard to outwardly show the excitement you feel for the baby, when your mind is pulled in 20 different directions. and/or, you feel like ass.
however. i think, at least in my work place, i'm a rare bird. that sort of goes without saying because out of the 5 women in the entire company, only 1 other has been pregnant & given birth during their time here. my experience has only her's to compare with. but also, her ideas about pregnancy, babies, motherhood, parenting...the works, are all so very different. (not to start a debate or to sound all yay-yay to one side about anything, but...) she very actively promotes not breastfeeding. i've heard her preach this to every pregnant woman she comes across, including me. "it's so much easier to let your husband make the formula for you", "your boobs don't get as mangled", "you don't have to worry about a kid hanging all over you all the time". interesting. then she goes on about how the day her child came home it went straight to the crib and wasn't allowed to sleep anywhere else. she needed a full night's sleep, after all! i don't....even want to get into some of the other things, because they deal with punishment, and i really just have to zip my lips and turn my head when she goes on and on about it & i couldn't disagree more (and, i don't want to go there, to each their own really). but do you see the common denominator in those examples? selfishness. not one of those things were chosen for the better of her child, but they made that whole pesky mommy thing a little easier for her.
i'm not saying you better breastfeed your kid, and co-sleep, or park a bassinet next to your bed, or anything, really. it's just hearing her reasoning....it's annoying. she didn't make her choices for her child, she made them for her. and why? well, i have my theories. because the truth is - i think she's a good mom, and i think she did really want her baby. but she has been employed here longer than i could drive a car. heck, long before my first day of high school (which was in 98). she has seen this company grow quite a bit in that time, and she cherishes it. i get that, that's great. but i had a conversation with her husband, even...who said he hates how attached she is to this place. i believe his words were, "if the place were on fire, she'd still run into the building". she made her choices based on the fact that she was coming back to work (which, by the way, she came back 3 weeks after giving birth! because, she couldn't stay away). now...whether she made them because this place is more important to her than parenthood, or because she was upset about it and preparing herself for the heartache of leaving her child with a day care, i don't know. though, really, why not stay out all 8 weeks if that's the case?
i'm really not trying to crucify her or anything. her situation doesn't bother me the way it may seem. i think, with my due date fast approaching and my baby kicking with more distinct movements, i'm just thinking about my impending motherhood. the way things will be with me and my baby, and how i feel about the situation in comparison. i could never do what she's doing. i get that some people need the money and so working & day care is their only option. but i just couldn't hand my child over to a bunch of strangers 40+ hours a week (because she is ALWAYS here, even on days off, even when she's not asked to be). i don't have even have my child yet, but i'm constantly wishing i could be at home instead so i can pull up my shirt and watch my belly move around with the movement of his limbs. i wish i could just lay there and talk to him and poke at him while he squirms. we do this all the time, and i am thankful for the time i have - but i would just love to do it all day long. bond with my baby, prepare for his arrival....soak up the magnitude of the miracle he is. and that's the thing about working through pregnancy (which, i realize just about everyone does). not only do you have to suffer through the suck...like 11 weeks of nausea, and never ending exhaustion while trying to do your work correctly. but you don't get the time to soak up every last drop of growing your baby. i wish life was a little easier to juggle in that way. i don't want to quit my job and do nothing for the sake of being a bum. i want to kick back and soak up the very few miracles we are given in our lifetimes. and that's where i think my co-worker and i differ. this job is not simply an income for her - it IS her life. whereas mine, is currently growing in my uterus and i'm just waiting this job out until he makes his appearance.
even with all that being said, i still have insecurities. everyone in my life has done so much more with their lives (at least, hmm, 75% of them anyway) in terms of education and careers. i have done nothing. and though my heart is totally okay with this, sometimes my mind is not. i know exactly why things turned out this way. because i wanted them to. because all i wanted was babies - my babies. i couldn't settle on a profession that would give me the freedom i wanted in order to give my all to being a mom. so i didn't do anything. not even as a filler until i reached mommyhood. it just felt like a waste of time.
i think, that idea really just agitates me for now....and possibly will for the next 3 months, but will disappear in an instant. because i know, my time is coming. my time to shine is just around the corner, and my purpose for this life is about to unfold. but working 40 hours, doing things that don't make a difference, surrounded by people who barely share a shred of the same ideals as i have - is hard to do. it makes me wish that i had done something in the past so i could at least fill these next 3 months in limbo with something i care about.
for now, i take every moment i can to watch my belly poke out & jiggle with my son's movements. i talk to him every chance i get. i set my hand on my belly and laugh when he kicks it. i daydream about holding him in my arms, and seeing his smile, and hearing his laugh. and really...i just couldn't be happier about having a son.
24 weeks, chex mix partayyy
warning: i am an ABC prime time addict, and while every one of my fabulous shows are re-starting another wonderful season, i cannot be held responsible for the amount of tv babble that may spew out of me at any moment.
so, desperate housewives anyone?
you know, i feel a little bad. this show was the show that started it all for me. it's what ignited my love of grey's (when they were on back-to-back), and opened up a new genre of the sexy sleazy scandalous soap-opera-on-crack type of show that i've come to love. and yet, last night, at 9:20 i sat on the couch and realized - the season premier is on, and i'm not watching it!
well thank heavens for DVR because it was waiting for me, only by 20 minutes, which allowed ample time to FF through boring commercials. i have to say, last year when the show ended the way it did...i was a little outraged. i wanted to see what happened! but after last night, i am really glad they traveled 5 years in the future. it's refreshing. the show needed a new beginning, a re-vamping...and i'm all excited about seeing where it will lead again. it's like reading a book that becomes your favorite, and then a sequel comes out with promises of good story lines & a glimpse of who your beloved characters have become. i love it. just, love it.
/tv show babble.
so, i think i've hit the nesting phase of my pregnancy. how did i put it earlier? "it goes beyond normal cleaning. it's like full fleged, scrub the spots i never look at, organize the pantry twice, husband has to say "go to bed" before i stop....cleaning ". yeah, that pretty much sums it up. for the first time in...hmm...well....ever, i sat wide awake in bed, thinking that maaaybe i should just get up and do a thing or two instead of sleeping. i feel like an addict or something. i'm sitting here daydreaming about the things i can do around the house when i get home.
husband said this is one of the coolest pregnancy side effects he's seen yet. only being topped by my massive boobs.
i'm 24 weeks today. let's seee....(traveling to what to expect dot com)...baby is about 1.5 pounds right now (holy crap, he's only .7lbs away from being the weight my niece was when she was born! granted, she was a preemie, but i can visualize that size). he's about 8.5" (aw, my little piece of paper). wow. i only have 4 weeks left of the 2nd trimester! this is really flying. am i 6 months now? i never know how that works with the weeks thing. i guess, if you take 24 weeks divided by 4, that gives you 6 months....but that logic is kind of stupid since no one ever says "i'm 10 months" when they're 40 weeks pregnant. who knows. maybe i'm 5 months, maybe i'm 6. either way, holy crap!
bold flavor chex mix = so yum.
so, desperate housewives anyone?
you know, i feel a little bad. this show was the show that started it all for me. it's what ignited my love of grey's (when they were on back-to-back), and opened up a new genre of the sexy sleazy scandalous soap-opera-on-crack type of show that i've come to love. and yet, last night, at 9:20 i sat on the couch and realized - the season premier is on, and i'm not watching it!
well thank heavens for DVR because it was waiting for me, only by 20 minutes, which allowed ample time to FF through boring commercials. i have to say, last year when the show ended the way it did...i was a little outraged. i wanted to see what happened! but after last night, i am really glad they traveled 5 years in the future. it's refreshing. the show needed a new beginning, a re-vamping...and i'm all excited about seeing where it will lead again. it's like reading a book that becomes your favorite, and then a sequel comes out with promises of good story lines & a glimpse of who your beloved characters have become. i love it. just, love it.
/tv show babble.
so, i think i've hit the nesting phase of my pregnancy. how did i put it earlier? "it goes beyond normal cleaning. it's like full fleged, scrub the spots i never look at, organize the pantry twice, husband has to say "go to bed" before i stop....cleaning ". yeah, that pretty much sums it up. for the first time in...hmm...well....ever, i sat wide awake in bed, thinking that maaaybe i should just get up and do a thing or two instead of sleeping. i feel like an addict or something. i'm sitting here daydreaming about the things i can do around the house when i get home.
husband said this is one of the coolest pregnancy side effects he's seen yet. only being topped by my massive boobs.
i'm 24 weeks today. let's seee....(traveling to what to expect dot com)...baby is about 1.5 pounds right now (holy crap, he's only .7lbs away from being the weight my niece was when she was born! granted, she was a preemie, but i can visualize that size). he's about 8.5" (aw, my little piece of paper). wow. i only have 4 weeks left of the 2nd trimester! this is really flying. am i 6 months now? i never know how that works with the weeks thing. i guess, if you take 24 weeks divided by 4, that gives you 6 months....but that logic is kind of stupid since no one ever says "i'm 10 months" when they're 40 weeks pregnant. who knows. maybe i'm 5 months, maybe i'm 6. either way, holy crap!
bold flavor chex mix = so yum.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
martha "mrsLicky" stewart.
i'm not ready for it to be 6pm on sunday. i'm just....not.
i want to start my SAHM gig and be done with the next 3 months of 40 hour work weeks, gir!
i feel very domestic. let's see. friday i scrapbooked & organized my scrapbooking, in true martha stewart fashion. saturday i detail-scrubbed my kitchen. i love my husband (i do i do i do) and he has picked up all of my "pregnancy-makes-me-lethargic" slack, but it's incredible how good this house can look when i do the cleaning instead. for reeeeal. this morning i clipped coupons, researched deals at every grocery & drug store in the area, made a spreadsheet of all my coupons, and went shopping. we stocked up on tons of supplies at BJ's, and they'll probably last us well through goop's birth. when we came home...i had a quick snack, updated my spreadsheet, and went to lowe's to get the rest of what we needed. and when i got home? i read the paper. and then...i updated my coupon spreadsheet, again, as well as made a new spreadsheet to track my savings every week.
am i, a nerd, or what.
you know what i'm most excited about? i got a bottle of franks hot sauce (aka, the best stuff everrrr) for $.16! can you believe that crap? i have yet to experience the wonderful world of overages when it comes to couponing (i'm such a newbie)...so this $.16 excites me. last weekend i got taco seasonings for $.15 each. small accomplishments! BUT, they are the motivations that make me do things like...spend 2 hours researching the best deals. it's freakin' addicting!
i'm about to sound even lamer. i'm going to spend the next 2-3 hours doing laundry, cleaning up the bedroom, making sure the kitchen is still in order...and scrapbooking until bed time.
i so have this SAHM thing in the bag :)
accomplishments of the day:
1. i bought husband a 6 pack of sam adams octoberfest (he's totally in love) because i knew he only had 2 bottles left...and being football day i thought he might need more. he was SO excited when i got home (you would have thought it was christmas or something), and he wouldn't stop saying, "now THAT is a good wife" and giving me kisses :)
2. i didn't get ID'ed for the beer, for the first time in....hmm, ever? i look young for my age as it is, and it's just a given. i always have my license out & at the ready. what i find hilarious, is that it's probably my preggo belly that pushes me over the "she looks too young" threshold...aaand i can't even drink the stuff.
3. $.16 for franks, whoo hoo!
i want to start my SAHM gig and be done with the next 3 months of 40 hour work weeks, gir!
i feel very domestic. let's see. friday i scrapbooked & organized my scrapbooking, in true martha stewart fashion. saturday i detail-scrubbed my kitchen. i love my husband (i do i do i do) and he has picked up all of my "pregnancy-makes-me-lethargic" slack, but it's incredible how good this house can look when i do the cleaning instead. for reeeeal. this morning i clipped coupons, researched deals at every grocery & drug store in the area, made a spreadsheet of all my coupons, and went shopping. we stocked up on tons of supplies at BJ's, and they'll probably last us well through goop's birth. when we came home...i had a quick snack, updated my spreadsheet, and went to lowe's to get the rest of what we needed. and when i got home? i read the paper. and then...i updated my coupon spreadsheet, again, as well as made a new spreadsheet to track my savings every week.
am i, a nerd, or what.
you know what i'm most excited about? i got a bottle of franks hot sauce (aka, the best stuff everrrr) for $.16! can you believe that crap? i have yet to experience the wonderful world of overages when it comes to couponing (i'm such a newbie)...so this $.16 excites me. last weekend i got taco seasonings for $.15 each. small accomplishments! BUT, they are the motivations that make me do things like...spend 2 hours researching the best deals. it's freakin' addicting!
i'm about to sound even lamer. i'm going to spend the next 2-3 hours doing laundry, cleaning up the bedroom, making sure the kitchen is still in order...and scrapbooking until bed time.
i so have this SAHM thing in the bag :)
accomplishments of the day:
1. i bought husband a 6 pack of sam adams octoberfest (he's totally in love) because i knew he only had 2 bottles left...and being football day i thought he might need more. he was SO excited when i got home (you would have thought it was christmas or something), and he wouldn't stop saying, "now THAT is a good wife" and giving me kisses :)
2. i didn't get ID'ed for the beer, for the first time in....hmm, ever? i look young for my age as it is, and it's just a given. i always have my license out & at the ready. what i find hilarious, is that it's probably my preggo belly that pushes me over the "she looks too young" threshold...aaand i can't even drink the stuff.
3. $.16 for franks, whoo hoo!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
debate night = sexy time, apparently.
husband is cracking me up this weekend. i love this about him. he has such a goofy sense of humor, which is what attracted me to him in the first place.
this conversation took place last night, shortly after he finished work for the day. it began completely randomly as we were watching tv:
husband: hey, why aren't you naked?
me: because i have clothes on.
husband: well, that's an easy fix.
me: mmmhmmm.
husband: but babbyyyy
me: what?
husband: it's presidential debate night!
me: and?
husband: we HAVE to have sex on presidential debate night!
lol.
though he would find any reason to "celebrate" by having sex, including a presidential debate...there is actually some tradition behind this. as sad & wild as this sounds, during one of the debates in 2004 we decided to start a drinking game. it was just the two of us, and we were bored. every time Bush stuttered or said the wrong word, or just sounded like an idiot, we took a drink. needless to say............we got hammered. with our new drunkenness, we started searching for drinking snacks, and found a funfetti cake mix & frosting. so we're making funfetti cupcakes, drunk, getting batter all over the kitchen....and we somehow end up naked and having sex. in the kitchen. instead of making the cupcakes.
yeah, it was a weird night lol.
i reminded him that this year i couldn't consume any alcohol, nor was i a tiny 115 pound 20 year old with perfect skin and perky boobs and i wasn't feeling quite as sexy*. but, he said in honor of our tradition, he was still going to bake. he made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. they are soooo delicious!
(*i do realize it's not like 10 years elapsed, but it's incredible how pregnancy can really ravage your body)
so, anyway...enough about presidential debate night traditions & back to why husband is making me giggle. you know how i mentioned odin being a wiener? (Odin = my cat, if you don't know) Well, he has really....started acting out. he mauled my gerbera plant for a 3rd time. and this morning? he found the bag of chocolate chips husband used on the cookies last night, dragged them through the house - leaving a trail of chocolate chips - and left the bag at the bottom of the stairs. why on earth would a cat do this?? so we're thinking he's just getting into anything he can, but his weirdness is extending!
i actually felt like doing some housework this morning (im usually too tired or sick feeling to want to do it), and husband took a trip to buy a new video game, buy me a box of mr. clean magic erasers, and pick up asiago cheese bagels at panera. while he was gone, i was scrubbing the kitchen...and i noticed odin had something under the kitchen table. it was matt's golf club cover, which is like a plush husky dog thing. he was repeatedly biting it and humping it!!! he has NEVER done this before! so husband gets home, catches him in the act, and cannot stop laughing. he kept saying things like "odin, stop it, no means no!" lol.
so then he picks the husky thing up, throws it in front of the fireplace and says "at least be a gentleman and do her by the fire or something". lol....oooh that husband of mine.
seriously though. why is my neutered cat, who has been without the proper equipment for 4 years, suddenly wanting to hump things? it's not even the right season for it. i'm starting to wonder if all the flea stuff we've been using on him & around the house (that's not working anyway) is scrambling his brain.
maybe seeing two presidential candidates debating is an aphrodisiac for men? :)
this conversation took place last night, shortly after he finished work for the day. it began completely randomly as we were watching tv:
husband: hey, why aren't you naked?
me: because i have clothes on.
husband: well, that's an easy fix.
me: mmmhmmm.
husband: but babbyyyy
me: what?
husband: it's presidential debate night!
me: and?
husband: we HAVE to have sex on presidential debate night!
lol.
though he would find any reason to "celebrate" by having sex, including a presidential debate...there is actually some tradition behind this. as sad & wild as this sounds, during one of the debates in 2004 we decided to start a drinking game. it was just the two of us, and we were bored. every time Bush stuttered or said the wrong word, or just sounded like an idiot, we took a drink. needless to say............we got hammered. with our new drunkenness, we started searching for drinking snacks, and found a funfetti cake mix & frosting. so we're making funfetti cupcakes, drunk, getting batter all over the kitchen....and we somehow end up naked and having sex. in the kitchen. instead of making the cupcakes.
yeah, it was a weird night lol.
i reminded him that this year i couldn't consume any alcohol, nor was i a tiny 115 pound 20 year old with perfect skin and perky boobs and i wasn't feeling quite as sexy*. but, he said in honor of our tradition, he was still going to bake. he made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. they are soooo delicious!
(*i do realize it's not like 10 years elapsed, but it's incredible how pregnancy can really ravage your body)
so, anyway...enough about presidential debate night traditions & back to why husband is making me giggle. you know how i mentioned odin being a wiener? (Odin = my cat, if you don't know) Well, he has really....started acting out. he mauled my gerbera plant for a 3rd time. and this morning? he found the bag of chocolate chips husband used on the cookies last night, dragged them through the house - leaving a trail of chocolate chips - and left the bag at the bottom of the stairs. why on earth would a cat do this?? so we're thinking he's just getting into anything he can, but his weirdness is extending!
i actually felt like doing some housework this morning (im usually too tired or sick feeling to want to do it), and husband took a trip to buy a new video game, buy me a box of mr. clean magic erasers, and pick up asiago cheese bagels at panera. while he was gone, i was scrubbing the kitchen...and i noticed odin had something under the kitchen table. it was matt's golf club cover, which is like a plush husky dog thing. he was repeatedly biting it and humping it!!! he has NEVER done this before! so husband gets home, catches him in the act, and cannot stop laughing. he kept saying things like "odin, stop it, no means no!" lol.
so then he picks the husky thing up, throws it in front of the fireplace and says "at least be a gentleman and do her by the fire or something". lol....oooh that husband of mine.
seriously though. why is my neutered cat, who has been without the proper equipment for 4 years, suddenly wanting to hump things? it's not even the right season for it. i'm starting to wonder if all the flea stuff we've been using on him & around the house (that's not working anyway) is scrambling his brain.
maybe seeing two presidential candidates debating is an aphrodisiac for men? :)
Friday, September 26, 2008
damn it, nipples!!!
okay, okay...i'm not a grey's genius. boo. my story would have been a lot more interesting than what actually happened. that was the lamest thing ever. me...girl who practically hyper-ventilated over september 25th's arrival for a good month, was wishing it would hurry up and end so i could go to sleep. my grey's shouldn't make me have such terrible feelings!
BUT, the office was awesome, and (spoiler alert - highlight the following, just in case some people haven't seen it yet!) though it took place between pumps at a gas station, jim & pam's proposal was so sweeeet. yay jim & pam! i love them.
today i have been scrapbooking queen 2008. and by that, i mean not at all...since i only got 2 pages done. and technically, it was 1 layout...just a 2-pager, so that makes me suck even more. but i organized the new things i ordered recently & set up the plans for more of my scrapbooking projects so i did accomplish something. the only suck part is, i have no good place to scrapbook. so at the moment, all of my supplies are on the floor and i sit among them and do my thing. not only does it hurt my back, but i also have to listen to matt's lamefest conference calls. the whole point is to be in the room and spend time with him while he has to work, but my GOSH. i want to pop ear plugs in so i don't have to hear any more computer gibberish.
odin is being a complete weiner today. you know my beautiful gerbera plant i raved about yesterday? he's tried eating it, twice now. just today he bit the bloom off the stem! i don't know where i can put it so he won't get into it.
i'm officially obsessed with picnik. i can't stop. i need to join picnik lovers annon. i've even started using other people's pictures. for example, meet my sister and her boyfriend:
BUT, the office was awesome, and (spoiler alert - highlight the following, just in case some people haven't seen it yet!) though it took place between pumps at a gas station, jim & pam's proposal was so sweeeet. yay jim & pam! i love them.
today i have been scrapbooking queen 2008. and by that, i mean not at all...since i only got 2 pages done. and technically, it was 1 layout...just a 2-pager, so that makes me suck even more. but i organized the new things i ordered recently & set up the plans for more of my scrapbooking projects so i did accomplish something. the only suck part is, i have no good place to scrapbook. so at the moment, all of my supplies are on the floor and i sit among them and do my thing. not only does it hurt my back, but i also have to listen to matt's lamefest conference calls. the whole point is to be in the room and spend time with him while he has to work, but my GOSH. i want to pop ear plugs in so i don't have to hear any more computer gibberish.
odin is being a complete weiner today. you know my beautiful gerbera plant i raved about yesterday? he's tried eating it, twice now. just today he bit the bloom off the stem! i don't know where i can put it so he won't get into it.
i'm officially obsessed with picnik. i can't stop. i need to join picnik lovers annon. i've even started using other people's pictures. for example, meet my sister and her boyfriend:
gorgeous couple, aren't they? oh oh....wrong picture.
is it totally obvious i was trying to cover up the date stamp? lol.
i should get back to my scrapbooking. or perhaps, picniking. i would do something more productive...like, put together a nursery for my baby but I CAN'T because service "masters" (more like suckers) called in sick! they called in sick, to working on our house!! can you believe that crap? ooooh this mold stuff is getting old. that's a long-ish story for another day. for now...
pregnancy suck of the day: itchy nipples. and not just itchy, painfully itchy. it feels like there are tiny needles being stuck into my nipples...and scratching/pinching (lol) them does not make it stop. i've even tried lotioning them thinking they may be dry. no dice. i'm about to rip them off!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
1 grey's prediction, comin' up!
i just have to put this in writing, on the off chance my prediction actually comes true so i can say heyyyy check out the grey's genius!
remember the finale last year (and if you're anything like me, you re-watched it last week) when mcdreamy left meredith standing in the middle of the woods so he could go have a talk with rose? who leaves a woman, by herself, in the middle of the woods?? i expected a bear to come out and maul her. while i no longer think that's the case, it was definitely meant to give you that sinking feeling of....what! something, is about to go down.
this theory was compiled not only by me, but my grey's loving lovah-friend...and we mushed our ideas to come up with this super-plot. and, since i just heard that the last episode the actress that plays rose will appear in is tonight's, this sounds even more possible. so. mcdreamy somehow ends up in a car with rose while he's breaking it off with her. or, possibly after she reveals the secret of her mcdreamy fetus. there's some sort of freak ice storm going on, possibly some sort of emotion mixed in with the break up, and the two of them end up in a crash right outside the hospital. rose ends up on the ground somehow, and the preview clip of the icicle falling is of her. she ends up dead (sorry rose). mcdreamy is also injured in the crash...which explains the possibly-mcdreamy-man on the table preview, as well as meredith's hysterics...but everything ends up alright. problems with rose, solved. however, because mcdreamy knew she was pregnant pre-death, it gets his baby gears turning...and he wants to rush things with meredith. this in turn causes her to get all funky in the head again, which causes another season of cat & mouse between our beloved couple.
eh? eh? i've heard some other theories. things about mcdreamy imagining rose admitting to being pregnant and such. but the bottom line is...i hear from many sources that there will NOT be a mcdreamyrose love child.
happy viewing tonight, i can't waaaaait!
remember the finale last year (and if you're anything like me, you re-watched it last week) when mcdreamy left meredith standing in the middle of the woods so he could go have a talk with rose? who leaves a woman, by herself, in the middle of the woods?? i expected a bear to come out and maul her. while i no longer think that's the case, it was definitely meant to give you that sinking feeling of....what! something, is about to go down.
this theory was compiled not only by me, but my grey's loving lovah-friend...and we mushed our ideas to come up with this super-plot. and, since i just heard that the last episode the actress that plays rose will appear in is tonight's, this sounds even more possible. so. mcdreamy somehow ends up in a car with rose while he's breaking it off with her. or, possibly after she reveals the secret of her mcdreamy fetus. there's some sort of freak ice storm going on, possibly some sort of emotion mixed in with the break up, and the two of them end up in a crash right outside the hospital. rose ends up on the ground somehow, and the preview clip of the icicle falling is of her. she ends up dead (sorry rose). mcdreamy is also injured in the crash...which explains the possibly-mcdreamy-man on the table preview, as well as meredith's hysterics...but everything ends up alright. problems with rose, solved. however, because mcdreamy knew she was pregnant pre-death, it gets his baby gears turning...and he wants to rush things with meredith. this in turn causes her to get all funky in the head again, which causes another season of cat & mouse between our beloved couple.
eh? eh? i've heard some other theories. things about mcdreamy imagining rose admitting to being pregnant and such. but the bottom line is...i hear from many sources that there will NOT be a mcdreamyrose love child.
happy viewing tonight, i can't waaaaait!
loves it <3
i really don't want to sound all neiner-neiner-neiner,
but i'm about to.
but i'm about to.
i love the civic hybrid! yesterday after work when this was taken it actually said 43.0 - but since the engine was running in park while i got my camera out to take this picture, it dropped. oh well. it's still a nice number to see, regardless. especially with the way gas is in charlotte right now. i wish i could find a slick way to take a picture of the long lines of cars snaked around the gas stations that still have some gas left to give, but i can't. i guess there are rumors of a pipe taking a long time to get working again? something like that. i have about 1/2 tank in the hybrid, and 3/4 of a tank in the mazda - so hopefully by early next week we'll have some gas again. husband & i are planning a thrilling weekend of staying at home (hooray!) to conserve fuel.
husband is a wonderful, wonderful creature. the other day, husband and i were partaking in our very first harris teeter triples experience, and we decided to do our shopping at an HT we hadn't visited in a while. it was closer to our old apartment, but we now have one down the street from our house (on what we call, grocery store row - since there's one every two feet). upon pulling in the parking lot to this HT, husband told me how that particular location made him happy - just being there. thinking someone surely switched my husband's brain with a stepford wife's operating system i asked him what on earth he was talking about. he said that back in his days of working third shift, this was where he used to stop on his way home from work to buy me flowers. he still gives me flowers quite often, but it was like a marathon during his 3rd shift days. he ended the trip down memory lane by saying something like "remember how cute i used to be to you?". i laughed at him and told him he was still insanely cute, if he only knew how crappy some men were to their loved ones. thinking this was just a random snippet of conversation, i filed it away under my "he's a sweetie" memories, and the end. only a few days later, he went to get a haircut, and came home with a beautiful gerbera daisy plant. poor thing guilted himself into blessing me with flowers again. i was so thrilled with this, because 1) i love gerbera daisies and he's a doll for remembering they were in our wedding and 2) it's an actual living plant. so instead of a oooh how pretty 5-7 days ending in trashing a crispy brown flower skeleton, it will be blooming all sorts of lovelies for me as long as i keep it alive. which, will be a challenge...but i will do my best!
um, i'm probably going to be back to go on & on about my grey's theories for tonight, but i have to do some actual work being that i'm at work. stupid work, always gettin in the way!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
the ugly side of baby growing.
i love, love, love this little being growing like a weed inside of me. i wished, hoped, prayed & begged for him, and the day i found out he existed was one of the best & most memorable of my entire life. despite 11 weeks of nausea and an ever-growing list of physical ickyness, it's worth it. and i'll probably do it a couple more times. i don't ever want to seem ungrateful for this miracle-o-mine...but pregnancy is no picnic. i think my beef is more with the effects of progesterone (i would say that would make a great name for a super villain but i know every mom with hormone irregularities would want to punch me so i won't say that). that being said...
10(ish) selfish reasons reasons why i'm glad pregnancy doesn't last forever. in no particular order.
-boobs of epic proportions. my cute, perky c-cup beauties have swollen to such a ridiculous size that i have officially outgrown every single bra (push up, sport, ugly comfies, ALL) that i own. in fact, i sometimes look down and embarrassingly realize my titties are overspilling and looking all kinds of white-trashy. the other night husband took a look at them in my closest-to-fitting bra and without prompting said, "how would you like it if i bought you some new bras this week?". if he sees a problem, that's saying something!
-never-healing, relentless acne. ohh yes. i haven't had clear skin in about 5 months, and that goes for my entire body. it's gross, and so unflattering...but i'll say it. bacne. i have bacne. sob.
-the no soft cheese rule. do you know what i love consuming in mass quantities? bleu cheese. on pizza...crumbles on salads...chicken wings. we sort of have a sick love affair. i sometimes cheat on it with feta (shhhh), and occasionally gorgonzola (don't tell feta). and do you know what? the people who went to medical school say it can give my fetus listeriosis. siiigh. i haven't had a single crumble since may. but come january? my place, soft cheese party, be there.
-new york & company coupon tauntings. my favoritest of favorite stores sends me all kinds of dealy emails and coupons to cash in on lovely pieces of fashion. pre-baby i was going to the mall bi-weekly to stock up on everything they had to offer...and i'm not even sure i will fit in all my previous finds post-baby. not to mention, my clothing shopping desires are not being fufilled. maternity clothes just don't have the same thrill. i suppose it's a good transition to stay-at-home-mommyhood. gotta squash the shopping bug now.
-no glass of wine after a suck day at work. my job was such a lovely place to be, until pregnancy. it decided to suck just in time for my mood swings and exhaustion. and can i come home to a lovely glass of wine after being annoyed all day? nope. boo :(
-the sleeps. i don't think i even have to mention the nausea, because helloooo the nausea. it's probably the number one known fact of pregnancy. been there, done that, would love to forget about it. the exhaustion on the other hand? non-stop. 3-hour naps began at as little as 4 weeks, and 20 weeks later i'm still taking them. when i'm not working 12 hour days, that is. staying awake through those work days is nearly impossible.
-feeling like a total whale. and knowing it's only going to get a lot worse in the next few months.
-mood swing fiesta. i have this funny (and too long for my current attention span) story about a night when i decided 10pm was a perfect time to bake an apple pie. when my crust wasn't turning out as perfect as MIL's does without fail, i threw my arms in the air, along with a few handfuls of flour, and declared that i quit apple pie. and then there's the 4,736 times (roughly) i've burst into tears at sarah mclaughlin's SPCA commercial, or just....because i wanted to. no control over your own emotions, awesome.
-pregnancy brain. i can't concentrate on work, i mess up the simplest tasks, and i forget things constantly. like how to count to 10.
and reasons why it's amazing:
-there's an actual human being learning how to be human inside of me!
-his kicks are the coolest, sweetest things i have ever experienced.
-seeing him at sonograms is the most in amazing thing in the entire world.
-i never feel alone, because i know baby is everywhere with me.
-the men at work trip all over themselves to hold doors and carry things for me.
-i can put on a little weight and people don't judge me.
-i get to be a mommy in 4(ish)months! which is the best thing ever, to me.
-seeing husband get excited about having a son is so heartwarming.
-there's a little person made of half me and half husband!
-i have years of loving another wonderful person ahead of me.
and of course, those are the only things that matter anyway. so all of my wah-wah-ing is pointless and doesn't matter :)
10(ish) selfish reasons reasons why i'm glad pregnancy doesn't last forever. in no particular order.
-boobs of epic proportions. my cute, perky c-cup beauties have swollen to such a ridiculous size that i have officially outgrown every single bra (push up, sport, ugly comfies, ALL) that i own. in fact, i sometimes look down and embarrassingly realize my titties are overspilling and looking all kinds of white-trashy. the other night husband took a look at them in my closest-to-fitting bra and without prompting said, "how would you like it if i bought you some new bras this week?". if he sees a problem, that's saying something!
-never-healing, relentless acne. ohh yes. i haven't had clear skin in about 5 months, and that goes for my entire body. it's gross, and so unflattering...but i'll say it. bacne. i have bacne. sob.
-the no soft cheese rule. do you know what i love consuming in mass quantities? bleu cheese. on pizza...crumbles on salads...chicken wings. we sort of have a sick love affair. i sometimes cheat on it with feta (shhhh), and occasionally gorgonzola (don't tell feta). and do you know what? the people who went to medical school say it can give my fetus listeriosis. siiigh. i haven't had a single crumble since may. but come january? my place, soft cheese party, be there.
-new york & company coupon tauntings. my favoritest of favorite stores sends me all kinds of dealy emails and coupons to cash in on lovely pieces of fashion. pre-baby i was going to the mall bi-weekly to stock up on everything they had to offer...and i'm not even sure i will fit in all my previous finds post-baby. not to mention, my clothing shopping desires are not being fufilled. maternity clothes just don't have the same thrill. i suppose it's a good transition to stay-at-home-mommyhood. gotta squash the shopping bug now.
-no glass of wine after a suck day at work. my job was such a lovely place to be, until pregnancy. it decided to suck just in time for my mood swings and exhaustion. and can i come home to a lovely glass of wine after being annoyed all day? nope. boo :(
-the sleeps. i don't think i even have to mention the nausea, because helloooo the nausea. it's probably the number one known fact of pregnancy. been there, done that, would love to forget about it. the exhaustion on the other hand? non-stop. 3-hour naps began at as little as 4 weeks, and 20 weeks later i'm still taking them. when i'm not working 12 hour days, that is. staying awake through those work days is nearly impossible.
-feeling like a total whale. and knowing it's only going to get a lot worse in the next few months.
-mood swing fiesta. i have this funny (and too long for my current attention span) story about a night when i decided 10pm was a perfect time to bake an apple pie. when my crust wasn't turning out as perfect as MIL's does without fail, i threw my arms in the air, along with a few handfuls of flour, and declared that i quit apple pie. and then there's the 4,736 times (roughly) i've burst into tears at sarah mclaughlin's SPCA commercial, or just....because i wanted to. no control over your own emotions, awesome.
-pregnancy brain. i can't concentrate on work, i mess up the simplest tasks, and i forget things constantly. like how to count to 10.
and reasons why it's amazing:
-there's an actual human being learning how to be human inside of me!
-his kicks are the coolest, sweetest things i have ever experienced.
-seeing him at sonograms is the most in amazing thing in the entire world.
-i never feel alone, because i know baby is everywhere with me.
-the men at work trip all over themselves to hold doors and carry things for me.
-i can put on a little weight and people don't judge me.
-i get to be a mommy in 4(ish)months! which is the best thing ever, to me.
-seeing husband get excited about having a son is so heartwarming.
-there's a little person made of half me and half husband!
-i have years of loving another wonderful person ahead of me.
and of course, those are the only things that matter anyway. so all of my wah-wah-ing is pointless and doesn't matter :)
in the begining.
so, clay aiken is gay. shocking. really though, who didn't see that coming? i'm mostly interested to see what my extremely conservative grandparents (who vote republican solely because they are against abortion and they are die-hard catholics*) have to say about it. why on earth does my grandma have squat to do with it? well, my grandma is quite young to be a grandma of four 20-somethings, in addition to 3 pre-teens, and 5 (about to be 6) great-grandchildren. she is "with it" in terms of modern media - and for some reason, she has a special love for mr. aiken. it's a little sick. i'm just curious to see if she will not care, or suddenly start hating him because of her views.
*i am in no way siding in either direction politically here, i just think it's pretty gay (ha) to vote for someone based on one single issue, without looking into all the facts.
really though, i don't care about clay aiken. i just wanted someone 5 years from now to say "what was the very first sentence you ever wrote on your blog?" and i could say something totally unexpected and random like "so, clay aiken is gay". mission accomplished.
soo onto reality then. same old stuff, brand new day. sometimes i wonder what my days would be like had i taken a different route for myself. i'm one of those....stubborn, play by the rules types (only i'm the one enforcing the rules), and i've unsurprisingly ended up exactly where i expected i would at 24. i decided about 20 years ago that my goal in life was to marry well and squat out a bunch of babies and live by the old barefoot and pregnant stereotype that our kind protests. i'm old fashioned in this way, and i'm not sure if that's a good thing just yet. a few weeks ago husband & i were watching 30 minute meals, and i remembered hearing recently that rachel ray was about to hit the ol' four-zero. so i randomly blurted out, "she's almost 40, where are her babies?? she better hurry up!". it was my husband who said, "what, just because she's a woman means she's supposed to have babies?". hearing that, from a man no less, made me think...hmm....why does my mind work that way? why did i assume she wanted them? the truth is...i don't know.
so instead of going away to college for 4 years, and instead of spending my early 20's at parties and experimenting with every existing form of alcohol - i was simply on the hunt for my always & forever. i found him fairly easily, moved in with him, married him, and now i'm carrying his son. exactly what i expected. but what if i let myself step out of line even a little? would i be spending my mornings behind a boring desk eating the same bagel, peanut butter, banana & OJ? or would i be somewhere more interesting, like NYC, among celebrities and intelligent innovative people? who knows. i don't even know if i would prefer that. what i do know is....i'm sick of the brainless crap i hear around my workplace and keeping things to myself for the sake of my job really blows.
i'm just a little bitter this morning. i'm sick of my job, and got even less sleep than normal last night. my unborn son, who's kicks have until now been adorable and sweet, finally found a few areas where he can cause some damage. he woke me out of a dead sleep multiple times last night while he punched away at them. i have no idea what he found in there, but it must have been fun. the boy tap danced on it for hours.
my eyes are drooping.
*i am in no way siding in either direction politically here, i just think it's pretty gay (ha) to vote for someone based on one single issue, without looking into all the facts.
really though, i don't care about clay aiken. i just wanted someone 5 years from now to say "what was the very first sentence you ever wrote on your blog?" and i could say something totally unexpected and random like "so, clay aiken is gay". mission accomplished.
soo onto reality then. same old stuff, brand new day. sometimes i wonder what my days would be like had i taken a different route for myself. i'm one of those....stubborn, play by the rules types (only i'm the one enforcing the rules), and i've unsurprisingly ended up exactly where i expected i would at 24. i decided about 20 years ago that my goal in life was to marry well and squat out a bunch of babies and live by the old barefoot and pregnant stereotype that our kind protests. i'm old fashioned in this way, and i'm not sure if that's a good thing just yet. a few weeks ago husband & i were watching 30 minute meals, and i remembered hearing recently that rachel ray was about to hit the ol' four-zero. so i randomly blurted out, "she's almost 40, where are her babies?? she better hurry up!". it was my husband who said, "what, just because she's a woman means she's supposed to have babies?". hearing that, from a man no less, made me think...hmm....why does my mind work that way? why did i assume she wanted them? the truth is...i don't know.
so instead of going away to college for 4 years, and instead of spending my early 20's at parties and experimenting with every existing form of alcohol - i was simply on the hunt for my always & forever. i found him fairly easily, moved in with him, married him, and now i'm carrying his son. exactly what i expected. but what if i let myself step out of line even a little? would i be spending my mornings behind a boring desk eating the same bagel, peanut butter, banana & OJ? or would i be somewhere more interesting, like NYC, among celebrities and intelligent innovative people? who knows. i don't even know if i would prefer that. what i do know is....i'm sick of the brainless crap i hear around my workplace and keeping things to myself for the sake of my job really blows.
i'm just a little bitter this morning. i'm sick of my job, and got even less sleep than normal last night. my unborn son, who's kicks have until now been adorable and sweet, finally found a few areas where he can cause some damage. he woke me out of a dead sleep multiple times last night while he punched away at them. i have no idea what he found in there, but it must have been fun. the boy tap danced on it for hours.
my eyes are drooping.
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